Saturday, May 5, 2012

chasing away reality

i can't seem to pull away
i just keep coming right back
yesterday wasn't as bright as i remember, because i knew it was coming
i'm not surprised, i had a feeling things would go this way
i know them to well, i know myself to well
i knew it wouldn't work, i couldn't make it
i didn't have that sort of power or control to keep it hidden
but oh how i wish i did
how i wish i could live in secret, knowing it was such a beautiful secret
sometimes i'm far to dramatic about life
but i always know
i have instinct, and my instincts were telling me
not yet

my heart was pounding so fast, my hands were shaking
i wish you had been there to still them
my fingers and brain wouldn't connect
i didn't know what words would come out
but i wish more had come
because i had wanted to tell you so many things
i wanted you to understand

 it wasn't right, it wasn't wrong
there's still hope, there always was, ever since we were twelve
i wish time would hurry up
i wish we would grow up faster, since we can't grow up together
i hate questions, i hate hearing them, i hate asking them
but one can't live life without them

i better get used to the fact that i'm not in control
i'm not in control of my life and the things that are thrown my way
but i'm in control over my heart
i'm in control over my smile
sometimes i'm in control of your smile
sometimes your in control of mine
those words are powerful, the ones you just spoke
two words can mean so much more than the effort put into speaking them

i wish my tired eyes would close and the dreams would come and chase away reality
i can't cry, i can't laugh, i can just stare at the wall and pace it back and forth
bright eyes stay wide open, wondering what will come next
but the heart knows the answer
 reality isn't a lovely place, and i don't want to live there
because right now your not in my reality