the grind

the nothingness

the smallness of every day

the weight

                       sinking in

                       of nothing

                                                           

                                                                      the wondering

                  

                      the waiting

the endless waiting.

please hold me together.

when your chest caves deeper than it should..

                                      

                           you're barely even breathing. 

so you go on aching.

like a blank slate- waiting to be written upon.
stinking eyes and a dizzy head.
the cutting wind blazing through the naked trees- just stand there.
deep breaths- caving chest- it still hurts at night.
everything is fine in the darkest blue of the starless sky.
everything is fine.
there's a stranger in the mirror.

stupid enough to care

i look back at an old me

i look back at that young me, that old me.

that silly old, young fool.

i recognize the mistakes, i've dealt with the regret.

later rather than sooner, i moved on.

and now i don't know where to go.

and i know thats ok.

cos' i'm here living and loving right.

i have nothing left to say. 

and everything left to give.